Trilo's Day Out
by CzarThwomp
Summary: Question: What do you get when a snarky puppet meets a short-tempered loan shark? Answer: A bad time for the introverted ventriloquist. Takes place three months before Recipe for Turnabout. Rated T for violence and slight swearing.


**Disclaimer: The Ace Attorney franchise is property of Capcom. I, the writer of this fanfic, do not own the characters or am associated with the company in any way, shape, or form in the production of this non-canonical, non-profit fanfic.**

It's a lovely, sunny day in LA and the Seymour Deels Mall is bustling: people are swarming clothing stores for their hot sales, the electronics store has gotten a new shipment of the newest tech products, and Grossberg is devastating the food court. For everyone at the mall, this is a perfect day… except for Ben Woodman and his puppet, Trilo Quist.

Ben and Trilo originally came to the mall to buy a new outfit for Trilo, but what they got instead was a lifetime ban from the Seymour Deels Mall. Ben, who is understandably upset by this, tries to talk some sense into his rowdy puppet.

"T-Trilo… That stunt that you pulled in the clothing store got us banned from the mall. You need to learn how to control your anger…"

"Hey! That Saleswoman had it coming to her! If you're going to blame anyone for my actions today, then direct it at her!" Trilo says with a furious scowl on his face as he flails his arms.

"All she did was say that your outfit was cute… Y-You didn't have to assault her."

Trio's scowl then turns into a smug look with an irritating grin and disinterested eyes. "Cute is what you call your 5 year-old nephew. I, on the other hand, am a ruggedly handsome man. She was clearly mocking me."

"Actually, you're a puppet, Trilo" Ben says as his voice trails off and his facial expression becomes more sheepish.

Trilo then starts to punch Ben in the face.

"I'm more of a man than you'll ever be, Woodman! If you keep fretting over the small things in life, then you'll always be in my shadow."

"Y-Yes, Trilo. C-Can we just go to the car so that we can go home?"

Ben and Trilo then walk through the parking lot and when they finally reach their car, they see that there is a damaged pink Vespa parked right behind their car which is preventing them from leaving. This incident only serves to increase Trilo's level of irritation, which was already sky-high.

"Just my luck…! First, that stupid bimbo of a saleswoman mocks me, and now some sissy has blocked us in with their girly European scooter?!"

Ben, knowing very well that Trilo's rage issues could very well get him arrested, or worse, tries to dissuade Trilo from doing anything too harsh.

"T-Trilo, don't do anything too brash. We'll just wait for the Vespa's owner to come and move it."

Trilo then proceeds to start punching Ben's face again.

"Woodman, that kind of thinking is why you're MY sidekick!" Trilo then pulls out Ben's car keys. "When life gives you lemons, take the lemons and squeeze the juice in life's eyes!"

Trilo then takes the car keys and starts to key the Vespa. Unfortunately for Trilo, while he's keying the Vespa, its owner, Furio Tigre sees what is happening.

"Gwoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! What youse doin' to my ride!?"

Trilo then turns to see who was talking to him and sees a tall, muscular orange skinned man with an orange suit that is the same color standing over him and Ben while snorting, growling, and grinding his sharpened teeth. Any normal person would be left terrified and speechless, but not Trilo, whose face is forming into a smug smile.

"Well, I WAS trying to key it as a way to punish you for blocking our car in, but looking at the sad state that it's already in, the scratches are actually an improvement."

Tigre then flashes his classic intimidation smile, with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. "Do youse know who I am?"

"Yeah, a girly dork who rides a pink Vespa. Now why don't you move that piece of junk out of our parking spot and I'll let you off with a warning, Mary Sue."

"I'm Furio Tigre, da infamous owna of Tender Lender who sends grown men cryin' to their mamas."

"Let me guess: those men were crying because they had to look at your ugly mug. You're so ugly, that you make this loser's-" Trilo points to Ben. "-ugly nose look excusable."

With condescension in in voice, Tigre responds to Trilo's remark.

"Real brave, hidin behind a puppet instead of facin me like a real man! That's just plain sad!"

The ridiculous notion of Ben actually having a spine and being in charge of him is the tipping point for Trilo to start something.

"Hey, that looser-" Trilo punches Ben. "-does NOT control me! Do you know who I am!? I'm Trilo Quist, the world famous tenor of the Berry Big Circus and this is my pathetic sidekick, Ben Woodman."

Ben then meekly waves his free hand. "H-H-Hi…"

"Ya know, Woody, youse look pitiful, so I'm gonna let youse off with a warning: Mess with me again, and you and your puppet will be sleepin' with da beavers."

Trilo then readies for combat by raising his fists in the classic fisticuff form while Ben begins to nervously sweat as his eyes quickly dart around the parking lot. Trilo then begins to further goad Tigre.

"Ha! I could wring you dry with one arm tied behind my back. Heck, I think even my pathetic looser of a sidekick could hand your ass to you on a silver platter."

Tigre, seeing the meek ventriloquist before him, knows that he is no danger whatsoever, so he decides to have a little fun with this.

"Why not? I'm feelin' generous today, so I'll give ya da first punch."

Tigre then stands perfectly still, with his arms outstretched, as Trilo winds his arm back to prepare his punch. After about 3 minutes of Trilo screaming while charging his punch, he releases his full power punch and hits Tigre's stomach; but much to Trilo and Ben's dismay, the punch does not harm the hulking monster of a man. In fact, the attack had the exact opposite effect of causing Tigre to laugh with a loud, roar-like chuckle.

"Ha! Ha! Haaaa! Damn! Youse call dat a punch? My decrepit granny can punch harder than you."

A large cynical grin spreads across Tigre's face as he readies his fist.

"Dis is a punch!"

As Tigre's fist quickly approaches his face, Ben's eyes widen knowing very well that this is going to hurt… a lot.

As Tigre's fist collides with Ben's nose, blood begins to poor out like water from a running faucet as tears begin to cloud his eyes; and before he knew it, he was on the ground and his normally pristine white suit was covered in his blood.

If it was up to Ben, he would have just feigned unconsciousness in the hope that Tigre would be satisfied with his victory and leave; but Trilo, being the foil of Ben, was not going to give up until either he won or was killed. Even though Ben is still on the ground, Trilo perks up as if nothing had happened.

"That's your idea of a punch? I've heard punchlines from Moe that hit harder than you."

Ben, knowing very well that this will only hurt him, decides to beg Trilo to relent.

"T-Trilo, please stop…!" Ben says with an overwhelming amount of fear in his voice. But alas, his pleas are too little too late, for Tigre is now even more enraged.

"Who da hell is Moe? But if it's pain you want, then da Pain Train has come to pick youse up and I'm da conducta!"

Tigre then picks Ben up by his large bow and then proceeds to repeatedly punch him in the face. Now, in addition to his bloody nose, which had begun to crust over, he is now sporting two black eyes. When Tigre was finished wailing on Ben, he threw the introverted ventriloquist to the ground with tremendous force.

Even though Ben can barely move his body at this point, Trilo is somehow able to respond with his normal snide and provoking tone of voice.

"You know what, Mary Sue; I think that you've earned yourself a song from the great Trilo Quist."

Ben, knowing how Trilo's songs can range from cringe worthy to right-out aggravating, tries to once again to get the rebellious puppet to stop.

"T-Trilo… Please… Nooo…" Ben says in a weak, raspy voice that starts to trail off towards the end. But alas, his request falls on deaf ears as Trilo begins to sing.

"There was a farmer who had a female dog and Furio was her name-o.

F-U-R-I-O

F-U-R-I-O

F-U-R-I-O

And Furio was her name-o."

Ben begins to lightly weep as he braces for the next wave of unholy pain that Tigre will unleash unto him as the orange titan, whose face has become noticeably redder and whose teeth are beginning to really grind together, towers over his limp body which has been unable to move from its spot on the ground.

"Oh, youse are askin' fo it now!"

Tigre then begins to repeatedly stomp on Ben's chest, causing the introverted man to begin to start coughing up some blood and to begin to almost lose consciousness. Seeing that his aggravating adversary is clearly defeated, Tigre decides that he should stop.

"I feel like youse had enough for today. Why doncha sleep it off and then think twice before messin' with me."

Tigre then gets on his Vespa and pulls out of the parking spot; but before the mobster can leave, Trilo, who feels that if he is going down, then he might as well go down swinging, decides to stoop to a new low, even for him: lowbrow innuendos.

"That's what I said to your mom last night after I was done with her." Trilo says in a raspy voice as Ben struggles to remain conscious.

Tigre, hearing the insult, gets off of his Vespa, puts down the kickstand, and approaches the ventriloquist as his face is becoming even redder and his nostrils are really flaring.

"Grrrr! Youse can insult me and my sweet ride, but when youse insult MY motha, youse are crossin' dangerous line!"

Tigre then pulls out a gun and aims it to the ground so that it lines up with Ben's head.

"Send my regards to da beavers!"

Ben begins to lightly cry as Trilo begins to further provoke the large armed man before them.

"Oh please, you couldn't hit a barn door, let alone my miserable excuse for a sidekick!"

"G-G-Goodbye, cruel world! Take me to an afterlife with no puppets!" Ben whispers in agony as tears begin to run down his face.

Right before Tigre can shoot Ben, he is shocked in the back by a Taser; which causes him to let go of the gun and fall to his knees in pain. At that moment, the three people are greeted by the energetic, and at that point in time, new, Detective Fulbright.

"Hey guys, I'm Detective Bobby Fulbright and thanks to my sense of justice, I was able to save you just in time!"

Fulbright then glared at Tigre and clenches his fist.

"You sir, are under arrest for assault!" Fulbright then flashes his badge. "In justice we trust."  
"Hey coppa, what's dat behind you?" Tigre says as he points his finger to the area right behind Fulbright.

Being the gullible and trusting man that he is, Fulbright turns around to look behind him, giving Tigre enough time to escape the parking lot on his Vespa. Fulbright then directs his attention to the badly wounded ventriloquist lying on the ground.

"Look, we can always catch him later, for justice always finds a way! What's important now is getting you medical attention."

Ben then slightly turns his head to face Fulbright and responds to him in a weak voice.

"T-Thank…you…"

As Fulbright calls for an ambulance, Ben drifts into unconsciousness.


End file.
